Make Us Laugh w/WinPalace Casino ~ No Deposit Needed Joke-A-Thon ~(CLOSED)

[Vicki]

Love the jokes Oggers! Thanks for your support!

Keep 'em coming!

[BBLaRue]

thats cuz mooley is so old that she just leaves a cloud of dust wherever she goes..............

[Vicki]

Originally Posted by BBLaRue thats cuz mooley is so old that she just leaves a cloud of dust wherever she goes..............

Poor Mooley!!! Aren't you glad you joined here!?!? See >>> your outstanding reputation proceeds you! I love it!!

[mooleyjones]

Hahaha It's true. When my bra is off I use my TATA'S for Swifters Hahahaha

Subject: Never doubt seniors' comments


>>>> Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for
>>>> a break in the
>>>> Soon-to-be new store.
>>>> As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a
>>>> Few shelves set up.
>>>>
>>>> One said to the other, "I bet any minute
>>>> Now some senior is going to
>>>> Walk by, put his face to
>>>> The window, and ask what we're
>>>> Selling."
>>>>
>>>> No sooner were the words out of his mouth when,
>>>> Sure enough, a
>>>> Curious senior walked to the
>>>> Window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
>>>> Asked, "What are you sellin'
>>>> Here?"
>>>>
>>>> One of the men replied sarcastically,
>>>> "We're selling ass-holes."
>>>>
>>>> Without skipping a beat, the old timer said,
>>>> "You're doing well.
>>>> Only two left."

[precious_woman]

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

[Vicki]

MOOLEYJONES!!!

You've made the WinPalace Casino Manager laugh the hardest today!

Please post or PM me your WinPalace account ID for a $30 FREE CHIP WIN!

Congratulations, & good luck with your play!

[precious_woman]

A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.

Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.

"How come your sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"

[precious_woman]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."

[unrated]

A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself, "Wow, she's gorgeous! And I think she's a flight attendant...but which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, "Hmm, no, she doesn't work for Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again; "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried the United slogan, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies!"

This time the woman looked at him, irritated, and screamed "What the $%#! do you want?!"

The man slumped back in his chair, and said: "Ahh, Finnair..."

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[precious_woman]

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals.

At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.