Celebrity Big Brother 2014

This entry was posted on Monday, January 6th, 2014

Jim Davidson in out-homophobed shock!!

According to the people paid to fill up newspaper inches at this slow time of year, today was/is the most depressing day of 2014. Divorce lawyers are snowed under, everyone is hunting for a new job, and xmas-overdosers are fat and skint. Well done everyone.

So what better way to ensure that 2014 can literally get no worse than to also launch Celebrity Big Brother over this weekend. Well done Channel 5.

The roll-call of winners since the show moved down a peg to Five has shown a fairly solid pattern – reality television scum. Last year’s winner was Charlotte Crosby from Geordie Shore – previous champions include Loose Women’s Denise Welch, X Factor’s Rylan and Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’s Paddy Doherty. For that reason Betfair have magically made Ollie Locke (Made in Chelsea) and Sam Faiers (TOWIE), as their two hot favourites, trading at 3.05 and 4.5 respectively.

The only winner of Five’s CBB who wasn’t ‘im/er off the telly’ was Julian Clary – a former ‘im off the telly’ and the man whose act Alan Carr has since stolen. Clary’s victory was that other type of Celebrity Big Brother triumph – redeeming a former household name. Mark Owen (Series 2) and Ulrika Jonsson (Series 6) both benefitted from this most Christian urge of the viewer, to rehabilitate, back in the Channel 4 days.

So if you fancy a true outsider, former ‘im off the telly’ Jim Davidson could be your man. Evander Holyfield has already magnificently filled the ‘house-bigot’ role that JD was surely ear-marked for (insert your own Holyfield ear-marked puns), by claiming that gays can be ‘fixed.’ So if he can keep his head down, and just be a funny man-of-the-people type, Davidson at 30 could at least raise a smile in this most miserable of miserable months. Get right on it!

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